Why We Keep Realizing What We Don't Want

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to focus on what you don’t want, yet struggle to clearly define what you do want? It’s a frustrating cycle that keeps many people stuck. The good news is, there’s a way to flip this mindset and use visualization to your advantage. Inspired by the principles in Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, let’s explore how our mental focus shapes our reality—and how we can direct it toward what truly matters.



The Power of Focus: A Motorcycle Analogy

Imagine a motorcyclist taking a sharp turn. If they fixate on an oncoming truck, their body unconsciously steers toward it—an effect known as target fixation. Instead, they should focus on the open road ahead, trusting in their ability to navigate the turn smoothly.

This scenario perfectly illustrates how our minds work in everyday life. When we obsess over what we fear or dislike, we inadvertently move toward those very things. Conversely, when we focus on a positive goal and trust in our ability to achieve it, we set ourselves up for success.

How Our Early Programming Affects Us

As children, we learn to ride bicycles by maintaining balance, looking ahead, and steering in the desired direction. But what we don’t learn early on is the principle of counter-steering, which becomes crucial at high speeds. When panic sets in, our instinct is to revert to our initial programming—often leading to mistakes.

Similarly, in life, we tend to react based on ingrained habits, especially under stress. If our mental programming is focused on avoiding failure rather than achieving success, we struggle to move in the right direction. The key is to rewire our mindset through intentional visualization.

The Role of Visualization in Success

Dr. Maltz emphasizes the importance of keeping your target in mind while also allowing yourself to trust the process. Just like the motorcyclist who must focus on the road instead of the obstacle, we need to visualize what we want rather than dwell on what we don’t.

A simple exercise to clarify your desires:

  • Write down everything you dislike about your current situation.

  • Contrast it with what you would prefer instead.

  • Shift your focus entirely to the preferred outcomes.

Adding a layer of gratitude—even for the things you dislike—can accelerate this mental shift. By doing this, you align your subconscious with your true goals rather than your fears.

Differentiating Visualization from Mental Rehearsal of Obstacles

It’s important to note that visualization of success is distinct from mentally rehearsing obstacles before they arise. In a previous post, I explored the practice of meditating on potential challenges and formulating solutions in advance. This method helps you prepare for difficulties, so that when they happen, you already have a response. However, once it’s time to perform, you should shift entirely to positive visualization—focusing on achieving your goal rather than dwelling on potential setbacks.

Both techniques are valuable but serve different purposes. Preparing for obstacles ensures you don’t get caught off guard, while visualizing success helps reinforce confidence and alignment with your desired outcome. The key is to use each approach at the right time.

Real-Life Applications of Visualization

Visualization isn’t just a theoretical concept—it has practical applications in many areas of life. For instance, athletes and gamers use mental rehearsal to enhance performance. By vividly imagining successful actions before executing them, they improve their actual performance when the moment arrives.

This principle extends beyond sports and gaming. Consider public speaking, job performance, or even personal growth. When you mentally rehearse success, your brain treats it as a real experience, increasing your chances of achieving it.

Why Visualization Works

The reason visualization is so powerful lies in its ability to prime the mind for opportunities. Imagine stretching a rubber band—it builds tension until it’s released, snapping toward its target. Likewise, when you consistently visualize success, you create a mental pull toward the opportunities that align with your vision.

By focusing on micro-goals (like hitting a baseball or delivering a great presentation) as well as macro-goals (career success or personal growth), you shape your subconscious to recognize and seize opportunities when they arise.

Final Thoughts

Breaking free from negative focus requires a conscious effort to redirect attention toward positive goals. Through visualization, trust in the process, and a shift in mental programming, you can transform your trajectory. Rather than being fixated on what you don’t want, you’ll start naturally moving toward the success you envision.

Try it for yourself. Define your goals, visualize them clearly, and trust in your ability to achieve them. The road ahead is yours to take—just keep your eyes on the destination.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Just a Simulation. A Talk on Computers, Dreams and Threads of Thoughts... Part 1

Image
Have you ever felt like life was just… a game? A vivid dream? A digital illusion? In this post, I’m diving into the idea that reality might be a simulation through the lens of personal experience, computer science, lucid dreaming, and the mysterious nature of consciousness. This isn’t about preaching a theory; it’s about sharing thoughts, patterns, and realizations that connect spiritual concepts with digital systems. Buckle up. Simulations exist to study realities without the real-world consequences—weather forecasts, car crashes, architectural drafts. They’re powerful because they help us test possibilities before fully committing. But what if life, as we know it, is a version of that? You’ve probably heard phrases like “chill, it’s just a simulation” or “life is a game.” It sounds playful, but it implies something deeper—this existence may be transient, flexible, not to be taken so seriously. That idea leads us to look at how our minds process reality, and how computers mirror ...
Read more

3 Myths My Mom Told Me That Now Make Sense

Image
When I was young, my mom shared a few myths with me that I dismissed as old-fashioned superstition. But as time passed, I found deeper meaning in them—aligning with science, metaphysics, and even the psychology of our subconscious. Here are three myths that once seemed strange but now make a surprising amount of sense. Walking with Resistance Blocks Abundance One of the first myths my mom told me was not to walk while dragging my feet or in a way that conveyed frustration. She believed that walking with resistance chases away good fortune. At the time, I thought it was just another one of those cultural sayings meant to correct my posture. But now, I see the deeper truth behind it. The book   The Science of Getting Rich   discusses how our mindset and energy shape our reality. Moving through life in a certain way—both mentally and physically—attracts success. When we develop a habit of walking with resistance, it subtly conditions our subconscious into the opposite, a state of...
Read more

°Flowers, Patterns & Luck. The Kybalion 4th Principle of Polarity

Image
 There’s something enchanting about noticing a flower when you least expect it. It feels like a whisper from the universe—beautiful, unexpected, maybe even lucky. In this reflection, we dive into how flowers, patterns, and the very concept of luck intertwine, all through the lens of the Kybalion’s 4th Principle: Polarity. Using personal insight, esoteric ideas, and spiritual musings, we’ll explore how synchronicity and structure shape our reality—and why noticing a flower might be more than just a coincidence. Patterns in Poetry and Petals Humans are drawn to patterns. Whether in rhymes or the spirals of a sunflower, there’s something innately satisfying about patterns. Poetry, like nature, follows recognizable forms—think rhyme schemes like AABB or ABAB. And in nature, patterns manifest mathematically, most famously in the Fibonacci sequence: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13… You’ll find it in flower petals, seed spirals, and leaf arrangements. It’s not just beautiful—it’s efficient. Natur...
Read more